Time Ram

[merryghoul]

Here's the other NYP fic, a pinch hit for sirvalkyrie.

Title: Time Ram
Author:merryghoul
Rating: G
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Fifth Doctor/Nyssa, Sixth Doctor, Peri
Warnings: no standard warnings apply
Spoilers: general spoilers for the short "Good as Gold," "Fear Her" and the opening ceremony for the 2012 Olympics
Summary: The Sixth Doctor and Peri think they're at Olympic Stadium. They end up trying not to bump into other incarnations of the Doctor instead.



The TARDIS materialized on the grounds of Lord's Cricket Grounds. The door to the TARDIS opened. A man with a multi-coloured coat, followed by a young woman in a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, followed him.

"Here we are, Peri. 2012 London, just in time for the Olympics."

"Doctor, this doesn't look like the Olympic Stadium. It doesn't look like any Olympic stadium."

"What do you mean 'this isn't the Olympic Stadium? ' This looks like an Olympic Stadium to me."

"Then why are you standing with a woman standing near cricket equipment?"

The Sixth Doctor froze. "It's my inferior previous self. Oh, no, he's coming this way with Nyssa! Nyssa can't see us like this!"

"Why can't she see you like this? I mean, your coat's tacky, but you look okay."

"We're creating a time ram."

"A time ram?"

"A time ram is what happens when two TARDISes try to occupy the same time and space at the same time. If we don't leave now, we'll cause a black hole and possibly destroy Earth. We've got to get back into the TARDIS and get out of here."

By the time the Sixth Doctor was done being his usual overdramatic self, the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa had caught up to the Sixth Doctor and Peri.

"Oh, hello," the Fifth Doctor said. "You must be a future version of me."

"I was so glad to finally be rid of you, and now you're back in my life."

"Oh. Was this life really so bad? At least we're not our third life—we had a nice car, but it was a miserable life for most of our lives. I think we both know Nyssa, but who's the young woman with you?"

"This is Peri. You're supposed to meet her before you die, not right now."

"Hello, Peri. It'll be nice to meet you when it's time to actually meet you. Now, if you've stopped getting dramatic over everything, we'd like to get in your TARDIS before Lord's becomes the source of Earth's biggest black hole."

The Doctors, Nyssa and Peri ran into the Sixth Doctor's TARDIS.

"I think you should let Peri and Nyssa pilot the TARDIS along with us," the Fifth Doctor said to the Sixth Doctor.

The Sixth Doctor scoffed. "We don't have time to teach these ladies how to drive a TARDIS at the Academy."

"I thought Nyssa did a fine job of piloting the TARDIS when I wasn't weak enough to fly it myself."

"Don't you remember, Doctor? Tegan and I were able to fly you to Castrovalva. The planet wasn't real, of course, but we saved your life."

"Wow, you really did that?" Peri said. "I bet the Doctor wouldn't tell me how to fly the TARDIS if he was on the brink of death."

The Sixth Doctor sighed. "Okay, okay. Peri, you and Nyssa can help us fly the TARDIS."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Nyssa," the Fifth Doctor said, "can you find the exact date the opening ceremony for the 2012 Olympics was held on the TARDIS Index File?"

"Yes, Doctor."

Nyssa typed in a few commands in the Index File.

"The opening ceremony for the 2012 Olympics was held on July 27, 2012."

"The TARDIS is supposed to be piloted by six people," the Fifth Doctor said, "but I think we can make it to July 27, 2012 with four."

The Doctors, Nyssa and Peri had arrived at July 27, 2012. However, they were in the borough of Redbridge, just north of Newham, where the Olympic Stadium and its environs were located.

"Doctors, this doesn't look like the Olympic Stadium," Peri said.

"Well, we are at the date. My TARDIS will be fine where it is. We can take some transportation to get to the Olympic Stadium."

As soon as the Sixth Doctor said that, another TARDIS started materializing on the road the Doctors, Nyssa and Peri had materialized on. This TARDIS was bigger and had a darker colour of paint on it. It also had the St. John Ambulance logo the TARDIS had lost after the Doctor first regenerated.

"How are we going to explain this to our granddaughter?" the Sixth Doctor asked the Fifth Doctor.

A runner was running with the Olympic torch to the stadium. Behind him was a stone gargoyle. This stone gargoyle wasn't a typical stone gargoyle—this gargoyle had pointed teeth that were always bared. The gargoyle was moving every second, following the runner. The runner ran into the TARDIS in the middle of the road, where a redheaded woman and a man in suspenders were inside.

"Did you see what was chasing the runner? It was a gargoyle that can move."

"Actually, that's a Weeping Angel, Nyssa," the Fifth Doctor said. "They've been here since the beginning of time. I've encountered them alone, but I've never had to deal with them with my companions. They're hard to defeat, you know. You can't blink or they'll catch up to you and kill you. They make you live until you die. It's a hard concept to explain. Doctor, can you explain the Weeping Angels to Nyssa?"

"That's a good description, Doctor. I'm more offended that one of our replacements is a twig in a bowtie and suspenders. And he had to borrow fashion sense from that other clown in a bowtie. I think we should be going before this Doctor causes a time ram. Let's go, Peri."

The Sixth Doctor's TARDIS materialized closet to the stadium. The street was lined with hundreds of people, all there to watch the torchbearer, a different torchbearer than the one the Doctor and his companion in his TARDIS picked up in Redbridge, run inside the stadium and light the Olympic Torch.

"There we are, Peri. We're watching history in the making. This man will make history by joining an elite group of Olympians who"—

As the Sixth Doctor was talking, the torchbearer fell to the ground. The spectators gasped.

Out of nowhere, a man wearing a brown suit, long brown trench coat and sneakers picked up the torch and started running with it. The crowd cheered again.

"Oh, it's that skinny idiot I accidentally ran my TARDIS into."

"Another future version of ourselves, Doctor?"

"I'm afraid so, Doctor."

"Our future is looking very, very grim indeed. Ladies, do me a favour. Duck, hide behind the crowd, and pretend like it's past your bedtime. You've got one more chance to get this right, Doctor, or we're heading back to Lord's and getting sucked into a black hole."

The Sixth Doctor's TARDIS finally materialized into the stadium.

"Well, we made it, Doctor," the Sixth Doctor said to the Fifth Doctor. "We're actually in the stadium, far, far away from our skinny, idiotic successors. I don't know about them, but this was quite an amusing adventure for all of us, right, Peri?"

"You're right, Doctor. Weeping Angels, fainting torchbearers—we lucked out this time around."

Nyssa grabbed the Fifth Doctor's hand. "Doctor, I know it's late, but I think we should be getting back to Lord's."

"You're right, Nyssa. Now, if you'll excuse us, Doctor, we have an Opening Ceremony to attend. Goodbye, Doctor. Hopefully we'll meet again and forget about it, as always."

The Fifth Doctor tipped his hat to the Sixth Doctor and Peri. "Goodbye, Doctor, and I hope to see you in the future, Peri."

The Fifth Doctor and Nyssa walked out of the stadium, disappearing before anyone backstage in the stadium could see them. Meanwhile, the Sixth Doctor and Peri walked towards and inside what appeared to be a house-shaped structure.

"I know we're at the right time, Peri," the Sixth Doctor said, "but why are we in a house surrounded by people?"

Peri laughed. "I think we're a part of the Opening Ceremony."

The Sixth Doctor sighed. "Oh, of course. I knew that. We'll sneak out during a dance sequence. Are you fond of David Bowie?"