merryghoul: torchwood team from countrycide (torchwood countrycide)
[personal profile] merryghoul
Whoops, almost forgot about this fic and tomorrow's equally cracky Luther fic!

Also, yes, this is something I signed up for before changing my name, so I have to include the old name in the header for this comm.

Title: Zombie Weevils Meet You At the Hub | AO3
Author: [personal profile] merryghoul (formerly missvmarigold)
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Tosh, Jack, Ianto, Owen, Gwen, Suzie
Length: 824 words
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: series one, after "They Keep Killing Suzie;" mentions of a device from the spin-off book Long Time Dead
Warnings: author chooses not to warn
Prompt: 475. Torchwood - Tosh, ensemble - when it comes to raising the dead, Suzie's got nothing on Toshiko Sato! As cracky as you want.

also for [community profile] hc_bingo, square "ostracised from society"


Suzie awoke in her drawer in the vault. The alien device (she never gave it a name, and if anyone was giving devices stupid names, it would be Ianto) in Suzie's arm would reanimate her every six months no matter where she put a bullet in her brain. (That was where the Resurrection Glove, the knife and Gwen Cooper came in, and all three did their job well.) She picked the lock from the inside, pushed the drawer open, and stood up, letting her strangely active blood flow through her body.

A small part of Gwen's life force, combined with the alien device, also healed her wounds. The cut on her arm, the stab wound from her knife and the bullet holes in her torso were all healed. It was like Suzie had never died at all.

Suzie decided to walk to the work stations at the Hub after she felt like she could walk around. If there were any pieces of clothing from her old Torchwood "outfit" in the Hub, they could wait. She wanted to see who was still around.

To her disappointment, most of the team was out somewhere in Wales on assignment. The only person in the Hub was Tosh. Suzie giggled. Toshiko Sato, the girl who never joins in any reindeer games, Suzie thought. And she's probably still hung up on Owen. I kept telling her he's a sleazebag, but she never listened.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Jack asked from the Torchwood SUV.

"I'm okay, Jack," Tosh said.

"I have this sneaking suspicion something's wrong," Owen said.

"Are you sure it's not you, Owen?"

Suzie walked behind Tosh and her station.

"Shut up, Ianto."

"You let us know if you need reinforcements back at the Hub, okay, Tosh?"


"I'll be fine, Gwen." Tosh cleared her throat as she went back to a map that was tracking the team somewhere in a Cardiff suburb. "I knew you'd come back," Tosh said to Suzie.

"You still can't look at me, can you?"

"I've prepared something for your return."

Suzie scoffed. "You got me a gift? The only way you were able to do anything around here was me. But everyone ignored me. When you arrived, you became the resident genius. I was every bit a genius as you were."

Tosh typed in some commands on her computer and hit enter. The commands went to the room where Ianto had (somehow) secretly installed a Cyber Conversion Unit in the Hub. Tosh was able to convince Jack the Cyber Conversion Unit didn't have to be fully dismantled. Tosh was able to make a few tweaks here and there, and the Cyber Conversion Unit had become a more energy-friendly storage unit for recently deceased Weevils. One command and Tosh was able to bring back to life Weevils that had died from natural causes with a jolt of electricity in case an intruder like Mary or Suzie came back into the Hub. For Suzie's return, she was able to bring back four Weevils from the dead.

Tosh's zombie Weevils moved slowly, but they still shuffled and roared like live Weevils. Within seconds the Weevils had come out of the Hub's basement and had met Tosh and Suzie at Tosh's station.

"You think I'm scared of four Weevils?"

One of the Weevils attempted to bite Suzie's forehead off. Suzie ducked.

"They like brains like human zombies, Suzie."

"We'll see if you'll have any zombie Weevils left after I'm done with them."

Suzie ducked the zombie Weevils and ran to the Archives. As Suzie was reaching for a key she had to open the Archives near the door, Tosh pressed a command to lock the Archives and the secret compartment. The zombie Weevils caught up with Suzie.

"All right, Toshiko, you win. Call them away."

Tosh smirked as she typed a command to make the Weevils head back to the basement and recharge until the next security breach.

"Are you going to go back to your vault and stay dead for good, Suzie?"

Suzie sighed. "I guess I will."

Suzie walked back to the Vault. She stood at Tosh's desk.

"You know, Toshiko, I didn't mean it when I said you were a lesser genius than I was."

With her toes, Suzie pulled a cord from the Mainframe. It was the same cord that connected the zombie Weevils to Tosh's computer. Tosh never saw it.

"I really don't care if you mean anything or not these days. Go back to the Vault, Suzie."

Suzie walked back to the Vault, climbed into her drawer and tapped her alien device back off.

When she awoke (whenever that was), the first thing she'd do is get her knife. The second would be to stab all the Weevils in their brains, provided the zombie Weevils weren't connected to the mainframe. And the third?

Take revenge on Torchwood again until they were dead or they surrendered. Of course.
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a merry ghoul

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