Hill and Taylor
Jul. 12th, 2012 01:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
merryghoulTitle: Hill and Taylor | AO3
Fandom: Burn Notice/Leverage
Medium: fic
Wordcount: 693
Rating: PG-13
Contains: no standard notes apply
Summary: Fiona and Parker need a diversion and a safe open.
While Michael was still missing, having been "arrested" by Vaughn, Fiona called her friend Parker to help her out in some cases. Before Parker was working with the Leverage team, Fiona, working as an unlicensed bounty hunter in New York, was assigned to find and arrest Parker. Fiona found Parker attempting to steal money from a bank. She let Parker go after she was impressed by how Parker evaded the security system in the bank, all for Parker's love of money. They kept in touch. When Fiona told Parker there'd be money if she could take a short break from the Leverage team, Parker was on the first plane to Miami she could book.
To set up a mark, Fiona and Parker had to break into a safe in a hotel room. As soon as they heard the door unlocking, they knew their time was running out.
"Can I try breaking the safe open?" Parker asked. "It's just a safe. How hard is to crack open a safe?"
"You can't just break into this safe, Parker. You have to lift the fingerprint off of the scanner and then press it back on the safe to open. That's why I'm using this graphite—so I can see where the fingerprints are on this safe. Once I find them, I can lift the fingerprint off the safe and we'll be on our way."
"I wish Hardison was here. He'd make some sort of fingerprint glove thingy for this safe."
"I wish Michael was here, too, but we can't always get what we want, Parker. Right now I need a distraction. Can you go in the living room and pretend to be someone?"
"Who?"
"Oh, I don't know. A maid, an inspector, an escort. You'll think of something. You're Parker, after all."
"Got it, Glenanne."
"You know you can call me Fi, right?"
"When I think of Fi, I think of giants. 'Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!'"
"Just go, Parker. Go now!"
Parker ran into the living room just in time to intercept the mark.
"I'm your escort," Parker said to the mark.
"I…didn't ask for an escort."
"Of course you did."
"You're not even dressed as an escort. You're wearing a hoodie and dirty Chuck Taylors."
"I work for a new type of escort service. We surprise clients in their hotel rooms dressed in street clothes and
then tell them how much we charge up front. So what do you want?"
"I don't want anything sexual. I want you out of my room, or I'm calling management."
"I charge $500 an hour for casual sex. If you want something else—you know, anything kinky—it's another $100 per hour."
"For the last time, I don't want anything sexual. Get out of my room!"
While Parker was arguing with the mark, Fiona had opened the safe with the blown graphite and a fake thumb from a gag store. She took out what she needed from the safe and put it in her pouch. Once the safe was closed and all evidence of Fiona breaking into the safe was cleared, Fiona caught up to Parker.
"Oh, let me guess. You're the madame," the mark said.
Fiona cleared her throat. "I am. I run the Hill and Taylor Escort Service. As Petunia said, we are a very unusual service. I feel like we'll get more satisfied clients this way." She pulled out a piece of paper pencil and wrote down a number from a cell phone Michael once used that was now dead. "I don't think you need our services, but in case you do, call us." She winked at the mark, grabbed Parker's hand and the two fled the hotel room.
"Petunia?"
"What, you want me to call you 'Parker' in front of the mark? At least we got what we were looking for."
"I still think you should wear sneakers on jobs, Glenanne. You can't run in heels."
"Well, I can run in heels. And call me Fi. Everyone I know calls me that. Why can't you?"
"Fee-fi-fo-fum!"
Fiona sighed as the two caught the elevator and left the floor.
Fandom: Burn Notice/Leverage
Medium: fic
Wordcount: 693
Rating: PG-13
Contains: no standard notes apply
Summary: Fiona and Parker need a diversion and a safe open.
While Michael was still missing, having been "arrested" by Vaughn, Fiona called her friend Parker to help her out in some cases. Before Parker was working with the Leverage team, Fiona, working as an unlicensed bounty hunter in New York, was assigned to find and arrest Parker. Fiona found Parker attempting to steal money from a bank. She let Parker go after she was impressed by how Parker evaded the security system in the bank, all for Parker's love of money. They kept in touch. When Fiona told Parker there'd be money if she could take a short break from the Leverage team, Parker was on the first plane to Miami she could book.
To set up a mark, Fiona and Parker had to break into a safe in a hotel room. As soon as they heard the door unlocking, they knew their time was running out.
"Can I try breaking the safe open?" Parker asked. "It's just a safe. How hard is to crack open a safe?"
"You can't just break into this safe, Parker. You have to lift the fingerprint off of the scanner and then press it back on the safe to open. That's why I'm using this graphite—so I can see where the fingerprints are on this safe. Once I find them, I can lift the fingerprint off the safe and we'll be on our way."
"I wish Hardison was here. He'd make some sort of fingerprint glove thingy for this safe."
"I wish Michael was here, too, but we can't always get what we want, Parker. Right now I need a distraction. Can you go in the living room and pretend to be someone?"
"Who?"
"Oh, I don't know. A maid, an inspector, an escort. You'll think of something. You're Parker, after all."
"Got it, Glenanne."
"You know you can call me Fi, right?"
"When I think of Fi, I think of giants. 'Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!'"
"Just go, Parker. Go now!"
Parker ran into the living room just in time to intercept the mark.
"I'm your escort," Parker said to the mark.
"I…didn't ask for an escort."
"Of course you did."
"You're not even dressed as an escort. You're wearing a hoodie and dirty Chuck Taylors."
"I work for a new type of escort service. We surprise clients in their hotel rooms dressed in street clothes and
then tell them how much we charge up front. So what do you want?"
"I don't want anything sexual. I want you out of my room, or I'm calling management."
"I charge $500 an hour for casual sex. If you want something else—you know, anything kinky—it's another $100 per hour."
"For the last time, I don't want anything sexual. Get out of my room!"
While Parker was arguing with the mark, Fiona had opened the safe with the blown graphite and a fake thumb from a gag store. She took out what she needed from the safe and put it in her pouch. Once the safe was closed and all evidence of Fiona breaking into the safe was cleared, Fiona caught up to Parker.
"Oh, let me guess. You're the madame," the mark said.
Fiona cleared her throat. "I am. I run the Hill and Taylor Escort Service. As Petunia said, we are a very unusual service. I feel like we'll get more satisfied clients this way." She pulled out a piece of paper pencil and wrote down a number from a cell phone Michael once used that was now dead. "I don't think you need our services, but in case you do, call us." She winked at the mark, grabbed Parker's hand and the two fled the hotel room.
"Petunia?"
"What, you want me to call you 'Parker' in front of the mark? At least we got what we were looking for."
"I still think you should wear sneakers on jobs, Glenanne. You can't run in heels."
"Well, I can run in heels. And call me Fi. Everyone I know calls me that. Why can't you?"
"Fee-fi-fo-fum!"
Fiona sighed as the two caught the elevator and left the floor.
