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merryghoulI’ve finally re-read The Legends of River Song after taking a hiatus from Doctor Who-related tie-in things.
”Picnic in Asgard” by Jenny T. Colgan
“Picnic in Asgard” is a story that has its basis in a line Steven Moffat first included in a script for “Silence in the Library” and never expanded upon in TV canon. (River: “Oh, picnic at Asgard. Have we done Asgard yet?“ Also: Asgard was again mentioned in “The Husbands of River Song,” but as a callback to the aforementioned “Silence in the Library” line.) Despite Moffat saying Ten was the Doctor she had a picnic with at Asgard, this story sets the picnic at Asgard™️, a theme park (and yes, that is how the story constantly refers to the theme park), and the Doctor is Eleven, not Ten. Asgard is malfunctioning, and it’s up to River to stop the theme park from harming other people.
I found the trademarked Asgard, as well as a lot of dialogue in this story (there’s a child character who is upset throughout the short story, and his lines are almost in ALL CAPS), annoying to read. And I didn’t understand the sudden mention of River wanting children in this story. Sure, it’s a common theme in River/Doctor fic, but nearly every other River appearance in canon, including the other short stories here, don’t focus on River wanting children at all.
I didn’t care for most of the story—if you were expecting a fluffy or an angsty picnic instead of shenanigans involving anachronistic portrayals of Vikings or talking animals, you’ll be disappointed.
”Suspicious Minds” by Jacqueline Rayner
In the 1970s, River meets an Auton disguised as Elvis. She tags along with him after the Doctor (I should note that the only Doctor who appears in this short story collection is Eleven) takes the Auton into the future, for fear that he’ll reactivate and kill humans again in case there’s another Nestene invasion. His last wish is to go to a far-flung Mediterranean park because he has heard it’s the most beautiful place on Earth, but the park has another sinister secret.
I did find the ending a bit over the top to my taste, but I felt this was one of the stronger short stories in this collection, with one of the better endings to boot. As goofy as this story is, this is the one that could’ve easily been a Moffat-era episode.
”A Gamble with Time” by Steve Lyons
London, 2016. River tries to prevent a time storm caused by the existence of one man who decides to spend all his money betting on a horse. The Doctor is involved.
I found this short story to be a bit confusing, and I felt that, even with the Villain of the Short Story, this type of story was better done by some Classic Who episodes and Sapphire & Steel (the show as well as the now-lost Big Finish audio dramas).
This short story also uses “dear Diary” repeatedly. I was so sick of seeing the phrase after the third time it appeared—yes, River has a diary, but I can’t imagine anyone writing “Cwm fjord bank glyphs vext quiz, dear Diary” in, like, every other line in their diary.
”Death in New Venice” by Guy Adams
River, working for a corporation, investigates the presence of ghosts at a new theme park, New Venice. Evil corporate shenanigans abound.
This was also the other short story I thought was strong. River, working by herself, tries to figure out what’s happening at this theme park while getting into a bit of trouble herself. And River’s flirtatious, sexy side comes to play in this fic as well.
”River of Time” by Andrew Lane
As part of her Stormcage rehabilitation, River aids another professor in investigating some ruins from the past. (This story is set before series 9.)
I thought this story and its twists were okay, but the ending was rushed, and I wanted more adventures with River and her travel companions instead of the ending this short story ended on.
Overall, I felt this collection of short stories was okay, but I’d only recommend it to diehard River Song fans.
”Picnic in Asgard” by Jenny T. Colgan
“Picnic in Asgard” is a story that has its basis in a line Steven Moffat first included in a script for “Silence in the Library” and never expanded upon in TV canon. (River: “Oh, picnic at Asgard. Have we done Asgard yet?“ Also: Asgard was again mentioned in “The Husbands of River Song,” but as a callback to the aforementioned “Silence in the Library” line.) Despite Moffat saying Ten was the Doctor she had a picnic with at Asgard, this story sets the picnic at Asgard™️, a theme park (and yes, that is how the story constantly refers to the theme park), and the Doctor is Eleven, not Ten. Asgard is malfunctioning, and it’s up to River to stop the theme park from harming other people.
I found the trademarked Asgard, as well as a lot of dialogue in this story (there’s a child character who is upset throughout the short story, and his lines are almost in ALL CAPS), annoying to read. And I didn’t understand the sudden mention of River wanting children in this story. Sure, it’s a common theme in River/Doctor fic, but nearly every other River appearance in canon, including the other short stories here, don’t focus on River wanting children at all.
I didn’t care for most of the story—if you were expecting a fluffy or an angsty picnic instead of shenanigans involving anachronistic portrayals of Vikings or talking animals, you’ll be disappointed.
”Suspicious Minds” by Jacqueline Rayner
In the 1970s, River meets an Auton disguised as Elvis. She tags along with him after the Doctor (I should note that the only Doctor who appears in this short story collection is Eleven) takes the Auton into the future, for fear that he’ll reactivate and kill humans again in case there’s another Nestene invasion. His last wish is to go to a far-flung Mediterranean park because he has heard it’s the most beautiful place on Earth, but the park has another sinister secret.
I did find the ending a bit over the top to my taste, but I felt this was one of the stronger short stories in this collection, with one of the better endings to boot. As goofy as this story is, this is the one that could’ve easily been a Moffat-era episode.
”A Gamble with Time” by Steve Lyons
London, 2016. River tries to prevent a time storm caused by the existence of one man who decides to spend all his money betting on a horse. The Doctor is involved.
I found this short story to be a bit confusing, and I felt that, even with the Villain of the Short Story, this type of story was better done by some Classic Who episodes and Sapphire & Steel (the show as well as the now-lost Big Finish audio dramas).
This short story also uses “dear Diary” repeatedly. I was so sick of seeing the phrase after the third time it appeared—yes, River has a diary, but I can’t imagine anyone writing “Cwm fjord bank glyphs vext quiz, dear Diary” in, like, every other line in their diary.
”Death in New Venice” by Guy Adams
River, working for a corporation, investigates the presence of ghosts at a new theme park, New Venice. Evil corporate shenanigans abound.
This was also the other short story I thought was strong. River, working by herself, tries to figure out what’s happening at this theme park while getting into a bit of trouble herself. And River’s flirtatious, sexy side comes to play in this fic as well.
”River of Time” by Andrew Lane
As part of her Stormcage rehabilitation, River aids another professor in investigating some ruins from the past. (This story is set before series 9.)
I thought this story and its twists were okay, but the ending was rushed, and I wanted more adventures with River and her travel companions instead of the ending this short story ended on.
Overall, I felt this collection of short stories was okay, but I’d only recommend it to diehard River Song fans.
