merryghoul: fi in bed (fi in bed)
[personal profile] merryghoul
Title: Hold Me Down | AO3
Fandom: Burn Notice/Leverage
Prompt: Any, Any, "...he whined, sounding quite sure that this should not have happened to him."/(Of Love and Bunnies by CrazyGirl47, Freyja SilverWillow and Bryn Spikess)
Medium: fic
Wordcount: 622
Rating: PG-13
Contains: no standard notes apply
Summary: In which Fiona demonstrates her strength to Hardison, much to Parker's joy and Hardison's dismay.

"This is a really funky house," Hardison said as he climbed the stairs of a loft directly above a nightclub.

Parker adjusted the backpack on her back. "It's not a house, Hardison, it's a loft. My friend Fiona lives in this loft with her boyfriend. She wrote me last year and told me she moved."

"This is a hell of a loft. You sure we're not going to fall off these stairs?"

"I'm sure. Her boyfriend's lived her six years without any problems. I'm sure the stairs aren't going to collapse today and we'll be entangled in a heap of rusted metal."

Hardison froze. Then he continued to climb up the stairs.

Hardison knocked on the door.

"Are you sure she's in?"

"Yeah, she's in."

Hardison opened the door, only to find a Walther PPK in his face.

Hardison raised his hands. "Look, I don't know who you are, girl, but I'm Alec Hardison and I'm supposed to meet a Fiona Glenanne because you and Parker know each other."

Fiona took a breath and put down her gun. "I am Fiona Glenanne."

"You don't look Irish."

"I'm Black Irish."


"Parker, you should've told me you were coming. Michael just left, but if you stick around, I'll make sure you meet him before you go. You said you had something for me, right?"


Parker sat on the bed. "Hardison and I went on dates during the summer. We ended up rappelling off of a lot of buildings around the world."

"Don't remind me," Hardison said.

Parker unzipped her backpack and pulled out a snow globe. "While were we in Tokyo, I thought about how much you liked snow globes. Hardison and I stole this for you. "

Fiona took the snow globe. "I like it. Thank you, Parker."

"I don't get it. Why are you collecting snow globes when there's no snow in them? It's just round white things in water."

Fiona put the snow globe on her snow globe shelf. "I have a very personal reason why I collect snow globes, and I won't reveal that reason right now."

"Show Hardison how you throw guys around."

Hardison looked at Parker. "What?"

"Yeah, Fiona can flip guys taller and heavier than she is to the ground."

"You're kidding."

"Parker isn't kidding."

Fiona grabbed Hardison's hand and moved him to an open space in the loft.

"You can't be taller than about five feet two inches."

Fiona nodded.

"How in the hell are you gonna…"

Fiona grabbed Hardison's arms and flipped him to the loft floor. She turned him around and grabbed his arms from the back. She straddled Hardison and put her weight against his body.

"Uncle! Uncle!" he whined. This shouldn't have happened to me, he thought.

Fiona didn't let go of Hardison's arms.

"Oh, so you don't respond to 'Uncle.'"

"I don't know what that means, not in that context."

Parker giggled and sat on Hardison. "Isn't this fun, Hardison?"

"Women. Seriously, women? Y'all gonna sit on top of me until you're tired."

Fiona shrugged. "Or until Michael comes in."

"Oh, because Michael doesn't approve of you doing this to me."

"No, Michael wouldn't care. I just want you to meet Michael."

Hardison sighed. "Well, damn, I guess I'll just get comfortable sitting on this nasty, dusty floor with all these nasty dust mites flying around it."

"Excuse me, Hardison, but I clean this loft whenever I get the chance. It's cleaner than it was before I moved in here."

"Somehow I don't find that reassuring, Fiona."

Fiona put more of her weight on Hardison's arms.

"Okay, I'll stop."

"Thank you, Hardison."

The three of them remained in that position until Michael arrived, and Hardison's arms were sore afterwards.


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a merry ghoul

October 2017

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