merryghoul: eleven small (eleven small)
[personal profile] merryghoul
Title: Third Shoe | AO3
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Wordcount: 348
Rating: General Audiences
Characters: Eleventh Doctor, River Song
Notes: for [community profile] who_at_50's 51st Anniversary Fanwork-a-thon
Summary: The Doctor's hologram clothes are still a work in progress. Inspired by this Children in Need video.


"River, you won't believe what I'm wearing!"

"Those look exactly like the clothes you always wear, Doctor."

"They're hologram clothes."

"Why would you need hologram clothes?"

"I lose clothes all the time. I don't know how I do it, but sometimes I'll find myself running with clothes one minute and completely nude the next. Maybe the TARDIS can make you a set."

"I don't lose my clothes that often to warrant hologram clothes, sweetie."

"Come on, feel them."

River grabbed the Doctor's jacket. The hologram clothes felt like tweed.

The Doctor laughed. "They even feel like real clothes. So if I find myself suddenly nude around a crowd of people, I can have the TARDIS beam me on some clothes and no one will know the difference."

"You know, holograms do malfunction. And you know how fickle the TARDIS is."

"No, no. I've been working on this technology for months. Years. I've been working on it ever since I was exiled on earth."

"That was the one with the cape."

"Yes, that was me with the cape. When I looked older. But not too old." He shuddered.

"All of you are lovely, Doctor."

"You don’t want to be around when all of us somehow get together for some complicated universe-saving thing. It's not the best thing in the galaxy. Anyway, I've tried this hologram clothing technology before, River. I know it works. It's not going to—"

The Doctor's jacket disappeared.

"Malfunction on me."

His bowtie went missing next.

"Oh, no, not the bowtie! That was a cool bowtie."

His shirt was next.

"I've got to check something, River. Hold on."

The Doctor ran under the TARDIS console. River followed him. By the time the Doctor started tweaking the TARDIS console, he was completely naked, save for one shoe.

"It'll be completely fine, River. You'll see."

"Sweetie, why is there a shoe…"

"You're supposed to wear three shoes. One on the left foot, one on the right foot, and one right here."

River looked at the shoe. "Once you have your hologram fixed, Doctor, we need to talk."

Date: 2015-03-06 09:05 am (UTC)
arcanetrivia: a light purple swirl on a darker purple background (Default)
From: [personal profile] arcanetrivia
*snerk* "One right here," eh! I see...

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