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Title: Are You Escaping, River? | AO3 | Teaspoon
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Character: River Song
Wordcount: ~300
Rating: General Audiences
Summary: Sometimes the guards at Stormcage were that clueless.
The TARDIS materialised near River’s cell at Stormcage. She grinned. She knew it was time for her to start preparing for her trip.
In River’s cell there was a cupboard. The cupboard was dimensionally transcendent; much like the TARDIS, it was bigger on the inside. In the cupboard, River stored her large, varied wardrobe. Elegant gowns, practical jumpsuits—River had it all.
River opened the cupboard, pulled out a red dress, and started undressing behind it. As she grabbed her dress, one of the Stormcage guards stopped in front of her cell. “Oi!” the guard said. “Are you planning to escape this time, River?”
River looked at the guard, put on her dress, and said nothing, only smiling.
“You’ve run out of tricks, Doctor Song.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.”
“We know America’s not a planet.”
“Of course America’s not a planet. Didn’t you go to school?”
“We know you’re fond of handcuffs and hallucinogenic lipstick.”
River nodded.
“You can’t possibly have another trick up your sleeve.”
River put on red shoes. “You’re right. Maybe you should inspect my cell and make sure I don’t have anything that you would consider contraband.” River closed her cabinet. She grabbed her diary and a pen.
“I will.”
The guard opened River’s cell and walked in to inspect it. As soon as the guard walked in the cell, River ran out of it, locking the guard in her cell. River waived to the guard. “Oh, sweetie, you don’t know how many tricks I have up my sleeve. I must be going. My ride’s here. Goodbye.”
River ran out of Stormcage, heading straight for the TARDIS.
When she ran into the TARDIS, the Doctor greeted her with open arms. River gave him a peck on the lips. “Hello, sweetie. Where are we going this time?”
“Oh-ho-ho-ho, have I got the place for you.”
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Character: River Song
Wordcount: ~300
Rating: General Audiences
Summary: Sometimes the guards at Stormcage were that clueless.
The TARDIS materialised near River’s cell at Stormcage. She grinned. She knew it was time for her to start preparing for her trip.
In River’s cell there was a cupboard. The cupboard was dimensionally transcendent; much like the TARDIS, it was bigger on the inside. In the cupboard, River stored her large, varied wardrobe. Elegant gowns, practical jumpsuits—River had it all.
River opened the cupboard, pulled out a red dress, and started undressing behind it. As she grabbed her dress, one of the Stormcage guards stopped in front of her cell. “Oi!” the guard said. “Are you planning to escape this time, River?”
River looked at the guard, put on her dress, and said nothing, only smiling.
“You’ve run out of tricks, Doctor Song.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.”
“We know America’s not a planet.”
“Of course America’s not a planet. Didn’t you go to school?”
“We know you’re fond of handcuffs and hallucinogenic lipstick.”
River nodded.
“You can’t possibly have another trick up your sleeve.”
River put on red shoes. “You’re right. Maybe you should inspect my cell and make sure I don’t have anything that you would consider contraband.” River closed her cabinet. She grabbed her diary and a pen.
“I will.”
The guard opened River’s cell and walked in to inspect it. As soon as the guard walked in the cell, River ran out of it, locking the guard in her cell. River waived to the guard. “Oh, sweetie, you don’t know how many tricks I have up my sleeve. I must be going. My ride’s here. Goodbye.”
River ran out of Stormcage, heading straight for the TARDIS.
When she ran into the TARDIS, the Doctor greeted her with open arms. River gave him a peck on the lips. “Hello, sweetie. Where are we going this time?”
“Oh-ho-ho-ho, have I got the place for you.”